Creative Moments: Size Doesn't Matter (When You're Up The Duff)

Sunday, 29 April 2007

Size Doesn't Matter (When You're Up The Duff)

Voices, The Nelson Mail, 8 January 2005
The unsolicited comments that can be fired at the vulnerable pregnant woman exposed.

It is a strange yet wondrous time being pregnant. For the first few months I got to treasure the miracle of a life growing inside me privately because I wasn't showing yet.

Fast forward to six months, and three weeks. My doctor warned me. "When you start showing you will become public property". Too right she was. The world has their eyes on you as you waddle past, with that titled walk that only those "showing" share. Apparently `'just looking" isn't a concept for those on the outer, witnessing the pregnant woman's changing shape.

Sure there are compliments. Some women DO glow and look radiant. But a lot of pregnant women are tired and cranky and uncomfortable - somehow the glow gets lost amongst all that. It seems the next best place to focus on is her shape. Now people - tread carefully here. Remember emotionally a pregnant women is experiencing a state that is not dissimilar to permanent PMS. And you are dealing with WOMEN. Those creatures who whether they care to be honest about it or not have at some point in their lives worried about their figure. So when a woman is pregnant and suffering in this permanent state of PMS - would you, REALLY, think it was wise to comment on this woman's shape? There are a number of no-no comments and actions that the average pregnant woman may find unamusing or even unoriginal. 1."You're huge/big"
2."You've grown since I last saw you"
3."Are you expecting twins?"
4."Are you sure you got your due date right?"
5." You could never tell that such and such was pregnant when SHE was six months."
6."Mimicking a pregnant women waddling
7."Exaggerating how much space is needed for her to get by
8."Patting the bump like it's your pet dog

Number 5 is my favourite. Note - EVERYONE knows some size 8 whippet who barely showed in her pregnancy. So you will get compared to her. Whether you are a curvey size 12 like myself or just simply shaped in your own unique way.

No two pregnant women are the same. Just as we are shaped differently before we are pregnant it doesn't change WHEN pregnant. Why would I suddenly get the figure of Claudia Schiffer when pregnant?! I was curvey to begin with so of course when with child, I will remain curvey!

For the most part I am embracing my ever-changing shape. I LOVE that no two pregnant women look alike. I go to antenatal yoga classes and looking around, I can see the pregnant glow - the beauty in every woman in the class. It is only in these classes that I can forget my own shape as we focus on our yoga moves. Suddenly the pregnant shape becomes irrelevant.

As pregnant women though it has to be remembered that most people are trying to come from a good place with their well-meaning comments and actions. Perhaps they think we like to focus on the fact that we are pregnant as pointing out our changing shape may be the only way they know how to connect with us. So I try to take it with a grain of salt. And I will continue to bite my own tongue around any pregnant women that I know…

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About me

I'm Lynda. I was born and bred in Wellington, New Zealand, and in my late primary school years submitted short stories, book reviews and cartoons on a regular basis to KidStuff - a page exclusively for children's writing and artwork in Saturday's edition of The Evening Post.

My writing and art was somewhat squelched during high school, although I chewed through many books and cartooned frequently.

I spent my years as a twenty-something exploring new horizons with travel and gaining a tertiary education. I have a BA (Hons) in Psychology and Education, which was completed at both Massey and Victoria Universities. I've lived short-term in both Sydney and Melbourne and completed several OEs which have taken me to the UK, the USA, a fraction of Europe and to Egypt and Israel. My longest overseas experience was a total of almost three years where I nannied in Vancouver , Canada and worked for two Summers in a children's camp in Pennsylvania, USA.

Variety is the spice of life could well be my personal work motto! I've worked on the ski-fields as a lifte in Queenstown, picked apples locally in Nelson, cleaned toilets, served pints, cleared tables, pushed paper, temped in offices in Wellington and Sydney, telemarketed, knocked on doors selling Christmas cards and calendars, and wiped other people's children's bottoms.

In 1999 I completed a Diploma in Computer Graphic Design at NatColl in Wellington and I worked in the industry for over ten years. My first design position led me to a job in Palmerston North with an agricultural company. It was at this company that I met my husband to-be Kev. At the end of 2001 Kev and I relocated to Nelson and married in Ruby Bay January 2004. Our daughter Amelia was born March 2005.

I have an interest in scriptwriting and in 2003 completed a Certificate in Television Production at NMIT. Around 2004 I declared myself officially out of the writing closet.I have been published in The Nelson Mail, have entered a number of writing competitions and in 2005 had a short story published within an anthology of Nelson writers. I wrote a a bimonthly column for The Nelson Districts Parent Centre Newsletter for a couple of years. I also have two other blogs - one about my experience with SIF (secondary infertility) and one about mothering a child with ASD (autism spectrum disorder).

In recent years I made the leap from graphics on the computer screen to art on canvas. As I'd never had any formal art training, in 2008 I enrolled in a beginners course in painting in acrylics. I held three stalls with friends locally in Nelson late 2008/early 2009 - at The Richmond Annual Market Day, The Founders Fair (sold seven paintings) and The Mapua Easter Show. (sold four paintings).

Towards the end of 2010 I enrolled in an experienced arts course. On January 2nd 2011 I had a stall at the Tahunanui Arts and Crafts Fair with some workmates and sold eight paintings - and a painted rock. I had a stall at The Mapua Easter Fair in 2011 with one of the same workmates and sold four paintings and two painted rocks.

In October 2012 I won a short story competition and was published in the February/March 2013 edition of Her Magazine. My first piece of fiction to be published in a magazine, which makes it an exciting writing milestone!

In November 2012 I held a stall with a friend at the Plunket Bonanza. After an eighteen month absence from painting, it was great to get out the brushes again!

In the Summer of 2012/2013 I held a few stalls at the McCashins Saturday market in Stoke with my own pergola that I got for Christmas in 2012. At the same time I launched my hobby-business Lynda J T - which is essentially art for children's bedrooms specialising in personalised art. There is a Facebook page for Lynda J T which features some of the work I have created for friends, family and clients.

I completed a Graduate Diploma in Teaching (Early Childhood Education) through Victoria University in 2013. I'm looking forward to combining teaching with my love of art and writing in 2014.