Creative Moments: Two Years Of Mummyhood

Sunday, 6 May 2007

Two Years Of Mummyhood

"New Mum On The Block "
Nelson District Parent Centre Newsletter May/June 2007

Today our antenatal class met for a combined two year birthday party celebration. It seems like just the other day that we gathered to celebrate the first year of our children's lives. Some mums are on to their seconds. I had the pleasure of holding a five week old this morning and I commented how it seems as though my daughter was born a two year old as it is hard to associate her today with being the baby she was yesterday.

We celebrated Amelia's birthday last weekend with a small party which included a couple of her friends. The celebration was quite different from the one last year in which we had just had close family present. This years party reflected how we've networked just a little more into the community and made some great connections with some other families.

Two years of mothering feels quite symbolic for me. When I celebrated one year of mothering, I felt as though I was no longer treading water, that I was out of survival mode and able to see the wood for the trees. A year later I feel quite different. I am much more confident, have clear values, opinions and ideas around mothering and am enjoying the independence that comes with raising a two year old.

Life outside of motherhood is happening again for me. I've been for swims and bike-rides and am doing a course in Small Management once a week. And working two nights a week. I am very fortunate that I have a wonderful, supportive husband who gives me the freedom to do all this stuff outside of the home.

As I grow into motherhood and enjoy it more and more, I feel sad and concerned for the brand new mums on the block who might feel overwhelmed, uncertain, unsupported and confused within motherhood. It seems there is pressure out there to have it all together and to have all the answers by the end of that first year which to me, is totally unrealistic.

If anyone has stuck long-term in a job in any industry, they will know that a year in a job is not long. Only long enough to get to grips with the role; not long enough to fly in it. The same goes for motherhood, I believe.

There is a school of thought out there that believes motherhood comes together in many levels around the second year. That has certainly being my experience. I am a lot happier now than I was a year ago. A lot of what we do during our weeks activity-wise is the same and we still have sleep issues – yet I am much more relaxed about it all.

Two years of being an at-home Mum has meant a lot of personal growth for myself. I started off in my new role with (natural) trepidation. It was all so incredibly overwhelming. And I didn't help myself any by putting such high standards on myself. It has taken many months for me to get to know my daughter, work out what style of mothering suits me, and to make peace around my non-Betty Crocker self. However I do enjoy getting tea on the table very night at 5pmish. I love creating a stable, secure home for our wee family.

Of course I've had stretches of time when I've been bored, and uncertain about aspects of motherhood and recently, challenged with the trials and tribulations of living with a two year old. Yet those times are in the minority. I love going to Playgroup and music group with Amelia, and watching her evolve in these environments she's been going to since she was six months old. She's more confident, more independent, and more involved.

The bottom-line is; I wouldn't change the last two years for anything. Being an at-home Mum has been an absolute pleasure and I will continue to relish our next year at home together as we prepare for Kindy in 2008.

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About me

I'm Lynda. I was born and bred in Wellington, New Zealand, and in my late primary school years submitted short stories, book reviews and cartoons on a regular basis to KidStuff - a page exclusively for children's writing and artwork in Saturday's edition of The Evening Post.

My writing and art was somewhat squelched during high school, although I chewed through many books and cartooned frequently.

I spent my years as a twenty-something exploring new horizons with travel and gaining a tertiary education. I have a BA (Hons) in Psychology and Education, which was completed at both Massey and Victoria Universities. I've lived short-term in both Sydney and Melbourne and completed several OEs which have taken me to the UK, the USA, a fraction of Europe and to Egypt and Israel. My longest overseas experience was a total of almost three years where I nannied in Vancouver , Canada and worked for two Summers in a children's camp in Pennsylvania, USA.

Variety is the spice of life could well be my personal work motto! I've worked on the ski-fields as a lifte in Queenstown, picked apples locally in Nelson, cleaned toilets, served pints, cleared tables, pushed paper, temped in offices in Wellington and Sydney, telemarketed, knocked on doors selling Christmas cards and calendars, and wiped other people's children's bottoms.

In 1999 I completed a Diploma in Computer Graphic Design at NatColl in Wellington and I worked in the industry for over ten years. My first design position led me to a job in Palmerston North with an agricultural company. It was at this company that I met my husband to-be Kev. At the end of 2001 Kev and I relocated to Nelson and married in Ruby Bay January 2004. Our daughter Amelia was born March 2005.

I have an interest in scriptwriting and in 2003 completed a Certificate in Television Production at NMIT. Around 2004 I declared myself officially out of the writing closet.I have been published in The Nelson Mail, have entered a number of writing competitions and in 2005 had a short story published within an anthology of Nelson writers. I wrote a a bimonthly column for The Nelson Districts Parent Centre Newsletter for a couple of years. I also have two other blogs - one about my experience with SIF (secondary infertility) and one about mothering a child with ASD (autism spectrum disorder).

In recent years I made the leap from graphics on the computer screen to art on canvas. As I'd never had any formal art training, in 2008 I enrolled in a beginners course in painting in acrylics. I held three stalls with friends locally in Nelson late 2008/early 2009 - at The Richmond Annual Market Day, The Founders Fair (sold seven paintings) and The Mapua Easter Show. (sold four paintings).

Towards the end of 2010 I enrolled in an experienced arts course. On January 2nd 2011 I had a stall at the Tahunanui Arts and Crafts Fair with some workmates and sold eight paintings - and a painted rock. I had a stall at The Mapua Easter Fair in 2011 with one of the same workmates and sold four paintings and two painted rocks.

In October 2012 I won a short story competition and was published in the February/March 2013 edition of Her Magazine. My first piece of fiction to be published in a magazine, which makes it an exciting writing milestone!

In November 2012 I held a stall with a friend at the Plunket Bonanza. After an eighteen month absence from painting, it was great to get out the brushes again!

In the Summer of 2012/2013 I held a few stalls at the McCashins Saturday market in Stoke with my own pergola that I got for Christmas in 2012. At the same time I launched my hobby-business Lynda J T - which is essentially art for children's bedrooms specialising in personalised art. There is a Facebook page for Lynda J T which features some of the work I have created for friends, family and clients.

I completed a Graduate Diploma in Teaching (Early Childhood Education) through Victoria University in 2013. I'm looking forward to combining teaching with my love of art and writing in 2014.